Top 15 "celebrities" I would most like to punch in the face and the reasons why! (now with infuriating photos!)

Yes, Criss, we know you're punk-rock, with your dyed-black hair and your blinged-out handcuff necklace. If the amount of makeup a magician wore was directly proportional to how good their illusions were, then you would be awesome, but since that's not the case, you can just ride David Blaine's coattails a little more.

I actually think he is probably a pretty nice guy. The only reason he's on here is because he's dated all my ex-girlfriends, and I don't really appreciate that. You know, girls like Jessica Biel, Jessica Alba, Scarlett Johansson, Jordana Brewster, Vanessa Minnillo, and former Miss Universe Lara Dutta. Damn you Jeter, damn you.