clipped from: www.thenoseonyourface.com   
Gentlemen, welcome to your first training session for Operation Charm and Awe.
Gentlemen, allow me to introduce you to the MM-350.
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This represents the cutting edge in combat-ready dialogue-facilitation technology.
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Uh, Gunny, I just…
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Correction, soldier. Per President Obama’s new orders you’ll now refer to me as “Emmy.”
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Uh, Emmy?
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Yes, Emmy. It’s short for Emissary of Understanding. Do you have a problem with that?
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Sir, No SIR!
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No, I’m serious, soldier.  If you do have a problem with it, now would be a terrific time for us to try out President Obama’s new “Hug It Out” Policy.
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No, that’s OK… Emmy, sir. It’s just…well…the MM 350 looks a lot like a Mr. Microphone.
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I assure you this is a finely tuned instrument for a new kind of war. A war…let me see if I can recall the wording from the manual..”fraught with peril at every turn because of the arrogance and narrow-minded policies of the previous administration
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Sir, I agree with Private Jacobs.  That looks like a Mr. Microphone.
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To the untrained eye
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