DON'T microchip your dog. A nearby cell phone can cause a microchipped dog to explode, or so says the lady running the tattoo booth.
DON'T tattoo your dog on the ear. A dog thief will cut off the tattooed ear.
DON'T tattoo your dog on the thigh. He'll be a tripod before you can say Ginsu.
DON'T let your dog drive. It's against the law in many countries.
DON'T send your dog out with a handler. Only a psychopath would send their beloved pet with a complete stranger.
DON'T handle your dog yourself. You've got a great dog, and he deserves a much better handler than you will ever be.
DON'T poke your eye with a sharp stick. It has nothing to do with dogs, but it's a good rule nonetheless.
DON'T keep less than five dogs. Dogs are pack animals, and five dogs is the minimum number for proper socialization.
DON'T phone my radio show. You will surely get bopped on the head for thinking that someone else cares about your silly little opinions.
clipped from: billknell.tripod.com