"Why me?" You cry. "Why does this, um, 'stuff,' always happen to me?"
Here is a
quasi-comprehensive list about how different groups react to what we will
euphemistically call "stuff" happening.
Islam — If "stuff" happens, it is the will of Allah.
Hinduism — This "stuff" has happened before.
Zen Buddhism — What is the sound of "stuff" happening?
Hare Krishna — "Stuff" happens! "Stuff" happens! "Stuff" happens! "Stuff"
happens! . . .
Scientology — Faeces occur.
Atheism — "Stuff" happens for no apparent reason.
Roman Catholics — If "stuff" happens to you, you did something to deserve it.
Agnosticism — F*rts happen.
Jehovah's Witnesses — Let us in and we'll tell you why "stuff" happens.
Fundamentalists — "Stuff" happens, I believe that "stuff" happens, and that settles
it!
Fundamentalists — Shout, "It's the vengeance of the Lord!"
Jews — Post symbols on the door, hoping the "stuff" will pass over.
Televangelists — Tell you "stuff" won't happen to you if you send in your love
offering.
clipped from: www.extremelysmart.com