10) I've just converted to Judaism. It's now your duty as a loyal al-Queda member to defend Israel from the Palestinians. -- OBL

9) You know that big valley down by the Afghanistan/Pakistan border that there's no easy way out of? I want all of you to meet there next Friday at 5 PM Eastern Standard Time. Don't worry, there's no way the Americans will ever find out about this...

7) I have just seen a secret report from the CIA. One of our members named Muhammad has been compromised. Therefore, please terminate every member of al-Queda you know of with that name. It's the only way we can keep our operations secure...