Ideologues on both sides of the political fence have taken up arms in a "war on Christmas," furthering a conflict which promises to provide continued stupidity for us all. But like a wrecked car - or, if you prefer, a demolished Christmas sled on the side of the road, you can't help but slow down and watch in morbid fascination as you drive by.

But that's nitpicking. What is truly exciting about the war on Christmas is how haphazardly the battle lines have been drawn. Both of these above descriptions of Christmas are at least consistent, but they don't reflect the views held by combatants in the war.

Since I'm part of a growing minority - a liberal atheist who celebrates Christmas with his family anyway and who is shocked at all the false leftist outrage about Christmas - I'll pick on the liberals for a second.