I live better than a king. Sure, there are modern day kings who live better than me but they're mostly kings in title only. When I say that I live better than a king I'm referring to Medieval European kings.

People just didn't live very long back in the day, even kings.

I eat well, real well. I eat off a plate, with a fork. Kings ate off smashed bread, with their fingers.

I'm fairly cootie free. I shower ever day and I use soap, that's right Richard the 1st; soap. In this day and age I have ready access to antiseptics and antibiotics.

It's pretty well known that castles are drafty, not my house. I have double insulated windows and central heating.

It was a pain in the ass to travel back in the day. Kings had to travel by horse or by boat and it took effing forever to get anywhere.

Despite what the story books say it sucked to live in medieval times, even if you were ruling said times.