He was one of the nicest old ladies I ever met. -- William Faulkner

He was so narrow minded he could see through a keyhole with both eyes. -- Molly Irvins

He'd make a lovely corpse. -- Charles Dickens

Her only flair is in her nostrils. -- Pauline Kael

His mind is so open - so open that ideas simply pass through it. -- F. H. Bradley

His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork. -- Mae West

I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it. -- Groucho Marx

I can't believe that out of 100,000 sperm, you were the quickest. -- Steven Pearl

I feel so miserable without you, it's almost like having you here. -- Stephen Bishop